ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture..

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?


Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick'?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this;

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.
And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning;
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP,
for now my time is UP,
so.......it is time to shut UP!

♥

What Happened In My Birth Year, 1953?

February 6, 1953 ... my Birthday.
In 1953, the world was a different place.

There was no Google yet. Or Yahoo. Or Us.mg201.mail.yahoo, for that matter.

In 1953, the year of your birth, the top selling movie was Peter Pan. People buying the popcorn in the cinema lobby had glazing eyes when looking at the poster.



Remember, that was before there were DVDs. Heck, even before there was VHS. People were indeed watching movies in the cinema, and not downloading them online. Imagine the packed seats, the laughter, the excitement, the novelty. And mostly all of that without 3D computer effects.

In the year 1953, the time when you arrived on this planet, books were still popularly read on paper, not on digital devices. Trees were felled to get the word out. The number one US bestseller of the time was The Robe by Lloyd C. Douglas. Oh, that's many years ago. Have you read that book? Have you heard of it?

In 1953... Nikita Khruschev is selected First Secretary of the Soviet Communist Party. Marshal Josip Broz Tito is chosen President of Yugoslavia. The Crucible, a drama by Arthur Miller, opens on Broadway. Walt Disney's 14th animated film, Peter Pan, premieres at the Roxy Theatre, New York City. Ian Fleming publishes his first James Bond novel, Casino Royale in the United Kingdom. Austria and the Soviet Union form diplomatic relations. The U.S. executes Julius and Ethel Rosenberg for spying for the USSR. The CIA helps to overthrow the government of Mohammed Mossadegh in Iran, and retain Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlavi on the throne. The discovery of REM sleep is first published by researchers Eugene Aserinsky and Nathaniel Kleitman.

That was the world you were born into. Since then, you and others have changed it.

The Nobel prize for Literature that year went to Winston Churchill. The Nobel Peace prize went to George Catlett Marshall. The Nobel prize for physics went to Frits Zernike from Netherlands for his demonstration of the phase contrast method, especially for his invention of the phase contrast microscope. The sensation this created was big. But it didn't stop the planets from spinning, on and on, year by year. Years in which you would grow bigger, older, smarter, and, if you were lucky, sometimes wiser. Years in which you also lost some things. Possessions got misplaced. Memories faded. Friends parted ways. The best friends, you tried to hold on. This is what counts in life, isn't it?

The 1950s were indeed a special decade. The American economy is on the upswing. The cold war betwen the US and the Soviet Union is playing out throughout the whole decade. Anti-communism prevails in the United States and leads to the Red Scare and accompanying Congressional hearings. Africa begins to become decolonized. The Korean war takes place. The Vietnam War starts. The Suez Crisis war is fought on Egyptian territory. Fidel Castro, Che Guevara and others overthrow authorities to create a communist government on Cuba. Funded by the US, reconstructions in Japan continue. In Japan, film maker Akira Kurosawa creates the movies Rashomon and Seven Samurai. The FIFA World Cups are won by Uruguay, then West Germany, then Brazil.

Do you remember the movie that was all the rage when you were 15? Planet of the Apes. Do you still remember the songs playing on the radio when you were 15? Maybe it was Hello, Goodbye by The Beatles. Were you in love? Who were you in love with, do you remember?

In 1953, 15 years earlier, a long time ago, the year when you were born, the song Rags to Riches by Tony Bennett topped the US charts. Do you know the lyrics? Do you know the tune? Sing along.

I know I'd go from rags to riches
If you would only say you care
And though my pocket may be empty
I'd be a millionaire

There's a kid outside, shouting, playing. It doesn't care about time. It doesn't know about time. It shouts and it plays and thinks time is forever. You were once that kid.

When you were 9, the movie The Magic Sword was playing.

6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... it's 1953. There's TV noise coming from the second floor. Someone turned up the volume way too high. The sun is burning from above. These were different times. The show playing on TV is Author Meets the Critics. The sun goes down. Someone switches channels. There's I Love Lucy on now. That's the world you were born in.

Progress, year after year. Do you wonder where the world is heading towards? The technology available today would have blown your mind in 1953. Do you know what was invented in the year you were born? The MASER. Medical Ultrasonography.

One, two
Where were you back in 1953?
Too young to remember, but old enough to say
That war lied


That's from the song Burnt Alive by Rocket From The Crypt.

In 1953, a new character entered the world of comic books: Chilly Willy. Bang! Boom! But that's just fiction, right? In the real world, in 1953, John Edwards was born. And Paul Allen. Pierce Brosnan, too. And you, of course. Everyone an individual. Everyone special. Everyone taking a different path through life.
It's 2012.

The world is a different place.

What path have you taken?

February 6, 1953 ... my Birthday.

(◠‿◠)

Roasted Smashed Potatoes

This recipe is designed to work with potatoes 1½ to 2 inches in diameter; do not use potatoes any larger. It is important to thoroughly cook the potatoes so that they will smash easily. Remove the potatoes from the baking sheet as soon as they are done browning—they will toughen if left too long. A potato masher can also be used to “smash” the potatoes.

Ingredients

1. 2 pounds small Red Bliss potatoes (about 18), scrubbed
2. 6 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
3. 1 teaspoon chopped fresh thyme leaves
4. Kosher salt and ground black pepper

Instructions

1. Adjust oven racks to top and bottom positions and heat oven to 500 degrees. Arrange potatoes on rimmed baking sheet, pour ¾ cup water into baking sheet, and wrap tightly with aluminum foil. Cook on bottom rack until paring knife or skewer slips in and out of potatoes easily (poke through foil to test), 25 to 30 minutes. Remove foil and cool 10 minutes. If any water remains on baking sheet, blot dry with paper towel.



2. Drizzle 3 tablespoons oil over potatoes and roll to coat. Space potatoes evenly on baking sheet and place second baking sheet on top; press down firmly on baking sheet, flattening potatoes until 1/3 to 1/2 inch thick. Sprinkle with thyme leaves and season generously with salt and pepper; drizzle evenly with remaining 3 tablespoons oil. Roast potatoes on top rack 15 minutes. Transfer potatoes to bottom rack and continue to roast until well browned, 20 to 30 minutes longer. Serve immediately. Serves 4 to 6

True Story!

More than 24 years ago, Pam and her husband Bob were serving as missionaries to the Philippines and praying for a fifth child. Pam contracted amoebic dysentery, an infection of the intestine caused by a parasite found in contaminated food or drink. She went into a coma and was treated with strong antibiotics before they discovered she was pregnant.

Doctors urged her to abort the baby for her own safety and told her that the medicines had caused irreversible damage to her baby. She refused the abortion and cited her Christian faith as the reason for her hope that her son would be born without the devastating disabilities physicians predicted. Pam said the doctors didn't think of it as a life, they thought of it as a mass of fetal tissue.

While pregnant, Pam nearly lost their baby four times but refused to consider abortion. She recalled making a pledge to God with her husband: If you will give us a son, we’ll name him Timothy and we’ll make him a preacher. Pam ultimately spent the last two months of her pregnancy in bed and eventually gave birth to a healthy baby boy August 14, 1987. Pam’s youngest son is indeed a preacher. He preaches in prisons, makes hospital visits, and serves with his father’s ministry in the Philippines .

He also plays football. Pam’s son is Tim Tebow.

Hover Over My Name: New Hoax Spin Added to Viral Facebook Status

I thought I'd repost this article from a fellow named Jon Loomer. I saw several different blogs that had written about the 'Hover Over My Name' scam. He puts it quite simply. He's on facebook and I am now a 'fan' of his. So, here it is:

Just when I think this one will die, it comes back even stronger…

Back on September 23 (yes, more than three months ago), I first wrote a post called Facebook Scare: Uncheck Comments and Likes about a viral Facebook status that was circulating. Long story short, it’s when friends ask you to hover over their name and uncheck comments and likes. They believed this would help your privacy or some other complete nonsense (see the blog post).

Today, I am again seeing spikes to that blog post. I ran a Facebook search of “hover over my name” and it is absolutely out of hand. When I run the search, there are 15 public posts over a six minute span. That’s public posts only.

Originally, this seemed to be simply a well-intentioned (though ill-informed) attempt to help friends and right a wrong. But as it’s evolved, it has taken on the flavor of a hoax. The new copy and paste is as follows:

With the new ‘FB timeline’ on its way this week for EVERYONE…please do both of us a favour: Hover over my name above. In a few seconds you’ll see a box that says “Subscribed.” Hover over that, then go to “Comments and Likes” and unclick it. That will stop my posts and yours to me from showing up on the side bar for everyone to see, but MOST IMPORTANTLY it LIMITS HACKERS from invading our profiles. If you re-post this I will do the same for you. You’ll know I’ve acknowledged you because if you tell me that you’ve done it I’ll ‘like’ it. Thanks!

A couple of the tell-tale signs of a hoax (as I outline in this post) are now evident:

USE OF CAPS

Attempt to scare you with completely untrue statement about protecting you from hackers

Of course … Asking you to re-post

Let’s be clear about what happens when I hover over your name and uncheck comments and likes. I no longer see your comments and likes. Period.

What doesn’t it do? It does not stop my posts (comments and likes) from showing in your newsfeed, though this status promises that. I have no idea how they think it would limit hackers from invading your profile. It is completely individual. It only stops one person from seeing the comments and likes of one person. That’s it.

And this brings us back to the absurdity of the post. If you are worried about people you don’t care about seeing your comments and likes, who is going to respond to this and hide that content? Maybe a handful. And what kinds of friends will they be? Your closest friends. The ones who actually care about your comments and likes (and the ones you wouldn’t mind seeing them).

But maybe your closest friends are hackers. In that case, carry on. You did well.

❤